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Sahil Bagwan

ย โ€ขย 

MDFC Financiers Private Limitedย โ€ขย 3d

The Buddha once asked his student, "If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?" The student nodded, yes. The Buddha then asked, "If a person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?" The student again nodded, yes. The Buddha

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Sahil Bagwan

ย โ€ขย 

MDFC Financiers Private Limitedย โ€ขย 3d

The second arrow is governed by our response to the firstโ€”and as the parable teaches us, being struck by the second arrow is entirely within our control. Our reaction and response controls the direction and force of the second arrow: If we attach ourselves to the pain of the first arrow, continue to think all of the negative thoughts it brought about, repeat the patterns of our past, dwell in the pain, and bemoan our bad luck, we send the second arrow hurtling straight into our open wound. If we pause, breathe, give ourselves a moment to reset, and choose a balanced response, we send the second arrow falling feebly to the ground. Viktor Frankl, the Austrian philosopher and Holocaust survivor renowned for his contributions to existential psychology, has a brilliant framing for this: "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response."

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Sahil Bagwan

ย โ€ขย 

MDFC Financiers Private Limitedย โ€ขย 3d

Our power is in the space that we can create between stimulus and response. Creating that space is the key to avoiding the second arrow. To create the space and move forward after a negative event: โ€ข Pause: Our immediate reactions are almost always emotional, and we make bad decisions in the heat of emotion. โ€ข Reset: Allow yourself to feel the pain of the first arrow, but remind yourself that you are in control of the second one. Give yourself that power. โ€ข Choose: With a more balanced perspective, choose your response. As Frankl famously said, โ€œEverything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedomsโ€”to choose oneโ€™s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose oneโ€™s own way.โ€

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