Why don't we Indians know much about our Hindu liberalized philosophy, the 'Upanishads'? I think it's because, after independence, one type of ideology prevailed in our education system, which finds no pride in anything related to our Hindu roots.
I don't know who need to hear this.
But, You are doing alight!, Every Negative emotions is feel right now are temperory
Hope this december gives you the joy you wanted :).